kickingcarbs's Logboek, 26 sep 18

I have a friend who dumped her husband after 3 months because he was not who he made himself out to be. Can you talk to your husband and see if anything happened that made him change his mind about your weight? Hang in there, you are doing a great job with your weight loss! 

I'm trying to Express to him how it makes me feel but he lacks empathy. I do love him very much but he is a very self centered person and does not understand other peoples feelings unless I literally give him an example oh n his own life about him. We are yin and yang completely cause we are truly polar opposites. Sometimes I miss dating someone my own size. He is all of 5'5 and 175lbs and I'm 5'10 and 300lbs.....I swore that if he could love my weight and see past it then I should never think our height difference was an issue but sometimes I feel like he is picking on me because I'm the biggest person in the room.  

Maybe he has some subconscious response to his mother's comments - like he is sort of taking her side. Or maybe that's too psychological. My ex often brought up my size to make me upset and I finally had to start pointing out that he only said those things when he was mad at me and had no good argument to get his own way. Good luck, it's hard being married. 

thank you. I swore I never would get married cause I've seen so many marriages fall apart and I didnt want to be one of them. I do love him so much. maybe this is his form of tough love and trying to push me to better himself. but damn he could sugar coat it a little more am I right?  

Ok first of all, u lost 100 lbs u are doing great!  

I’m sorry people are so rude I have also had encounters like that 😓 

Take that as motivation and keep making the better choice when u eat. Honestly u will be healthier n happy when u succeed, trust me on this  

Honestly ur husband should not be talking to you like that.  

I'm so sorry that people are saying those things to you - especially your husband. You have done such an amazing job losing over 100 pounds - that is fantastic and you deserve to be proud of that! Just remember that you are doing this for you and just keep on doing what you are doing! The world is full of mean people and unfortunately we just have to do our best to ignore them - and be thankful that you aren't like them! 

>>Hugz<< 

My heart is with you. 

You've done amazing on your weight loss! And I am not in any way trying to defend what your hubby said to you... but maybe he's currently having a tough time... it's so easy to hurt the ones we love when we are unhappy/scared/depressed. :)  

you did a great job, please don’t listen toxic ppl. I support you, girl  

#1, I hope you are not living with his mother. #2 if possible, now would be a good time to sit down with your husband and try to have a talk about what is going on in his head that this change in attitude is taking place. As you know, this is not the way to start a marriage. You have obviously worked very hard, successfully, to get where you are now. Is it possible he is feeling threatened by your success? Meantime, this is where you must pull together all you have learned and keep moving forward with your plan for loosing. Don’t allow yourself to go backward. If you do you will never forgive yourself and even worse, you will never forgive him and that anger will forever stand between you. Wishing you the best of luck. 

Wow! Can't imagine someone who supposedly loves you saying something as hurtful as that. You are amazing. Own it. You are a Warrior! Live it. Put your shield up, smile, and kill them with kindness. You Got This.  

I am SO angry on your behalf! You ARE worth it. You’ve made huge progress with losing 100#! You continue to try! If it were me I would stop that right now. Something along the lines of ‘I love you, but I won’t allow you to speak to me in such a disrespectful manner. If you love me you will find a nicer way of saying things to me and you would support my efforts.” As for the old bat, I’d be very tempted to say ‘I know. It must be just as hard for twigs to eat much because they are so afraid of gaining weight that they would rather starve themselves. It’s so sad.’ But I’m a bitch when my feelings are hurt so this may not be things you should say. ————-Please know that we here at FS support you and know it’s not easy! I was a twig and I’ve been heavy. And it’s truly not fair to you to be told these things. Believe me, it’ll get worse unless it stops soon. Abuse doesn’t get better, it stays the same or gets worse unless the abuser is called on his or her bad behavior. Know from experience there too. Dealing with a bit of it now and I’ve been married 16 years! It’s started in the last 2 years. Now I am mean back or just tell him I won’t listen to his hateful disrespect and walk away. I’ve even locked the bathroom door and turned on the radio so he gets the point. I’m so very sorry all this was said! You don’t deserve it! I hope it gets better for you soon and that you believe that what they say isn’t true.  

I would also suggest he go to the gym with you if you go. He would see you working to meet your goals and maybe understand how hard it is if he’s actively getting healthier too. 

I’m so sorry love ❤️ You should tell him how it makes you feel when he talk to you like that and offer up ways that will help motivate you without bringing you down. 100 pounds is a big accomplishment! Keep your head up. You are beautiful. He married you this way and claims that he loves you so he should listen to you when you express how you feel and be more supportive. Even if he doesn’t though, you need to learn to love yourself. Think of all of the reasons why you want to lose weight and be healthy and use them as fuel to drive you to make better choices everyday. If you have a goal set, you will continue to lose the weight. Believe in yourself darling! You are perfect just the way you are, and we are rooting for you! **hugs** 

how much does he weigh? when he decides to harp on you tell him you could drop ____(insert his weight) right now by divorcing. Do not tolerate emotional abuse! Especially about your body! Bodies ebb and flow and fluctuate. I'm so pissed he's treating you like this, get away! much love to you, you are beautiful as you are. keep your head up and keep getting fit FOR YOU not him. 💙💚💛 

I dumped a husband after 5 months because of disrespect and gaslighting. Best thing I ever did. Just left with my clothes and dogs and never looked back except to sign divorce papers.