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So I have been kinda hiding lately and a bit depressed. Home life is not the best right now. I am finding that the more I want to change the more life is trying to hold me back. I have also found that me wanting to change does not mean that the people in my life want to change. That is especially the hardest part of my transformation to my new active life. I just want to be loved and to show love but when another person chooses to hide in a room and when you try to reach out you continually get ignored it takes a toll on you (wow, what a run on sentence). Again I have to take things one day at a time.
I was allowed to get a new computer (HP dv6tse) after 5 plus years of using my old HP zv5000. It had a discrete graphics card in it. I have never had a computer with so much power. I can finally play games. Whooohoo! Although that does lead to a sedentary lifestyle so I have to limit myself. Being technically minded I love it though.
Seems like my support group plans are on hold pending my resolution of my personal issues. The one guy I am counseling told me yesterday that he is finally getting what I have been saying about finding what works for you and making a conscious decision to change your lifestyle. I'm happy for him.
Tomorrow is a official weigh day. I have successfully stayed off the scale for the last 2 weeks. Looking at my food journal there is some McDonald's on there. I ate my emotions one night but I kept the amount in my calorie range. Man that fillet o fish and fries were tasty. It did make me a bit ill feeling though. Guess that is a good thing. Hopefully that will keep me away from that place for quite a while.
My bike is still broke. There is a guy that lives behind me that I found out fixes bikes but I have not reached out yet. I need to get that done. I have not worked out for a few weeks. I have been working on cleaning the house and we are redoing a bedroom completely. I have had some wonderful help from friends with the remodel. Went from wood paneling to dry wall. No overhead lighting and only two recepts to a wired in overhead and 4 jacks including switch. We also build in a closet. Making it a great new room for my daughter. Still have to finish muding and then paint. Orange and Teal. What colors my daughter likes huh.
I'll post the weight tomorrow. Not worried about it.
That's all for now.
Later,
~DJ
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1445 kcal
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Vet: 48,94g | Eiwit: 85,90g | Kolhy: 175,82g.
Ontbijt: American Cheese Singles, Brown 'n Serve Turkey Sausage Links, Multi Whole Grain English Muffins. Lunch: Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips, Light Apple Sauce Great Value, Thinly Sliced Turkey Breast, American Cheese Singles, Yellow Mustard, 100% Whole Wheat Grain Bread. Diner: Frozen Asparagus, Crinkle Cut Carrots, Frozen Green Peas, Chicken Breast, Light Mayonnaise, American Cheese Singles, 100% Whole Wheat Grain Bread. Snacks/Andere: Fiber One Chewy Bars, Quaker True Delights Multigrain Fiber Crisps - Wild Blueberry, Light Fat Free Strawberry Banana Yogurt. meer...
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4518 kcal
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Activiteit:
Rusten - 5 uren, Slapen - 7 uren, Autorijden - 2 uren, Zitten - 2 uren, Stilstaan - 30 minuten, Bureauwerk - 7 uren en 30 minuten. meer...
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 Reacties
I'm new to fatsecret and not sure if it is rude to respond to a journal entry or not, but they show up on the group page so if this is a faux pas please let me know.
Personal issues do hit pretty hard, I've been facing many of them lately myself. (And today's baking is going to hit harder than a single restaurant visit would have, but life goes on.)
It can be difficult when you yourself have discovered a way to improve your own life and other people don't jump on the bandwagon. Lifestyle changes are such a personal issue, and people have to make them themselves and be ready to make them themselves. The nutritionist available to me was always there, but until I was emotionally prepared to make changes being taken by someone else to see her would have done no good. At times the best you can do is lead by example - be healthy, be happy, and if people do decide to join you in their own time that will be great. Often people start feeling judged or unloved if you push them too much to change. (Particularly if any of those people are women. I know when my husband started pushing me it brought up some really negative emotions - especially in light of some issues we had faced a few months before.)
Anyway hang in there, keep up the good work and don't beat yourself up for an occasional visit to the clown's cafe - its the habits that kill us not the occasions. Working on house repairs can be a decent workout as long as you keep those windows open when ya paint - those brain cells like oxygen.
09 sep 10 door lid: irusan
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It can be really hard when one person in a couple decides that they are going to make a change. In my case, it's me making a change and my hubby not really understanding why. He loves me as I am, but I want to have a body I feel comfortable in. One that is smoking hot, lol, which I know is really vain. Anyway, to help me get there I am going to gym classes, doing yoga, and last night, for the first time ever, we went out and I chose not to drink any alcohol. He didn't really understand why I didn't drink, he actually said that I was probably going to be boring all night. So I made an effort to be NOT boring! But it is a bit scary. If I do start to like the gym and go a lot, and do eat healthy, and get my smoking hot body, will he still love me? Will he just feel like I am changing too much? It's starting to be a bit scary. It would be so easy to be my normal lazy, eat too much, drink too much self. I hope things get better for you. You have lots of support on here.
09 sep 10 door lid: Lee2010
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You gotta do what you do for YOU and nobody else. And you have to realize what things are under your control and what aren't. This was my main issue, emotionally and the one that kept me heavy: guilt. I felt responsible for a certain loved one in my family when in reality her situation was completely beyond my control. Don't eat your guilt. It doesn't fix anything. It actually makes it all worse. Do what is right for you and you will be in a much better position to help your loved ones when and if they are ready to be helped. Yes it is sad and hard to go through these things and be present, and not drown emotions in food or alcohol or drugs, but if you talk it out or write it down it will help so much more than any of those things. Feel sad if you need to and cry your heart out. It will be much better than overeating in the long term. I'm sure you know all that but thought it might help to hear someone else say it. You got this.
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@k8yk - Thanks Kate, you actually made me smile. Ya I do know all that and I did not over indulge but I did eat outside the box. Thanks again.
@irusan - I never consider it over stepping to comment on journals. Thanks for you input. BTW, I like my brain cells so I'll keep that in mind.
@Lee2010 - Thanks for your support.
09 sep 10 door lid: bump98
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I really like computers. Have gone wireless (including printer) for the whole house, as those pesky cat5 or 6 jacks are never where you want them. Get the bike fixed (maybe get the whole family involved in riding if possible) fall is a great time for biking! Remodeling projects are great! I will be painting inside this fall too! Seasonally, fall might be the hardest time to keep up the new life style. I think our bodies want to take on more food for the upcoming winter months as a survival trait. I tried one of those double fish sandwiches about two months ago. Calorie wise it wasn't so bad, but it was saturated in deep fat oil, and I kept thinking I'm eating a lot of calories without much enjoyment. Keep up the good work!
10 sep 10 door lid: Matt55
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Hey Matt, I don't need no stinking cat5 cables. I've got my house fully wifi. Running two routers (one in bridge mode). There is no spot in my house where the signal is weak. Anyway the fish was delish but didn't sit with me that well. Thanks for the push to get the bike fixed. I'll try to get on that this weekend.
10 sep 10 door lid: bump98
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