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If I am to sit here and ask if today was good or bad, I have to say it was 50/50. I mentioned the black cloud, and today was the hurricane! I have moved to an actual office. I spoke with my boss about the tension and trying to find a positive way to deal with it. I just want to come to work, do my job, go home. Forget the politics and gossip for people who must not be busy enough but worrying about everyone else. So, here I am. Cleaning out my old cube, I found a couple coupons for free donuts. I won't use them, so I popped them on the chair of the workmate who said I could have them if I exercised.. she goes to the gym, she eats the donuts when they are here. I pass coupons to diff people in this office for diff things, the only reason TO be offended by this would be because she knew how she had made me feel. Otherwise, I know when someone leaves something at MY desk I'm overjoyed! Thanks for thinking of me!!
She jumped a workmate if she left them there and said she would take it to upper management. Told her, if I did it I wouldn't admit it, the workmate told her she didn't appreciate being threatened. I come in and find them taped to my door, I take them to another office mate and he said he would take them. Was he offended? No. Go to make my sweet potato which is 5 min in the microwave, all the time in the world for her to address me. Not until I'm headed out and back to my office does she call me over. She asked if I left them and I said yes, I saw you didn't want them, and I gave them to another workmate. She asks why I gave them to her and I told her, "Your comment last week about how I can eat them if I exercise, well, I am not interested in having them, you go to the gym and you enjoy them so I figured you may use them." The office is already quiet, but it got LOUD! All she could do was ask again why I left them, why would I give them her? Why not? She said she was taking it to upper management and I asked why? Then she tells me to get out of her face.. I say Ok, and head back to my office as she makes nasty remarks again. I turned around and told her, why go to upper management, I'm RIGHT here! Finally I told her if she was offended, it was because she knew what she said/did to me last week was wrong. I told her several times that it hurt my feelings, I replayed what exactly happened so everyone could hear! At first she denied it, and finally she admitted it, "Yup, I did say that, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE OFFICE, but you are sneaky and wait til I leave for the day to do that.." I didn't, I moved Friday which she was out of the office. If I was being sneaky, I would've denied it. If I was doing it to be directly offensive, I would've denied it and snickered back to my desk. When asked, I admitted it. I told her if she was offended, I am sorry, but the only reason she would be is because she knew how she made me feel.
My boss heard the commotion, came out and asked me to come to his office, but every time I would turn to go, she kept running her mouth so I would turn around and put it right back on her. I asked, "I have only been nice to everyone in this office! I have been friendly to you and everyone else. I've asked a million times, how can I help? So... what about YOU! How dare you treat me that way! You hurt my feelings, you made me feel like this big blob of fat sitting at my desk who can't have a donut because I don't exercise... that's how you made me feel in front of EVERYONE!" Not once did she say she was sorry. I turned to my boss, still in front of everyone and said, "This is what happens when you tell me to 'TALK' to people to fix the problem!"
I finally just went into his office and he wanted to calm me down. He knew the whole deal. I was still upset and telling him how BS it was and I guess I will start job hunting because for all I do and how friendly I am with everyone, I DO NOT deserve this! I went to my office and he called her in. Who knows what she said, it doesn't matter. As she came out she went whispering to the two girls... walking proud like she accomplished something. "I wasn't the one cryin'" No, she sure wasn't but she looks like a total a$$ and I STILL don't have to whisper anything.
It's all so stupid. I'm not the only person she speaks to/about this way. A few other workmates have been upset by her this way. The difference is, they didn't stand up for themselves. I did. My only weakness was when my eyes began to water. I wasn't crying like a baby, my eyes watered when I said, "You hurt my feelings, how could you treat me that way!" That, is a genuine from the bottom of the heart, hurt. I personally would feel terrible if I intentionally or unintentionally ever had someone come to me and say that, much less with tears in their eyes. That means that I have done something pretty bad. I would feel very bad about that.
Everyone minus those two she whispers with told me that I did the right thing. They applauded me. They said I was always very nice, and no, I didn't deserve that. Later, my boss went to leave and asked how I liked the new office. I said it was nice and quiet. I apologized for the commotion this morning but told him, "I am not sorry for standing up for myself! Now she knows, and everyone knows that I won’t tolerate that."
Will see if HR comes down for a rerun. I don't see what more can be accomplished than what I did right here on my own, that my boss saw, let's lay it all out, let's hash it out. I apologized. She still antagonized, she provoked. She admitted what she said was to be rude and she knew it was in front of everyone and she didn't care. Let HR come and let everyone else she's threatened who didn't speak up come forward.
Pfft. As I said, 50/50.
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