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My body is so weird. Up and down, up and down, then nothing for a long time, then up and down. Hopefully this down sticks!
I've really just been too busy to eat. Obviously I've been eating enough to sustain me, but no real binges the last few days. I've also started putting coconut oil and almond milk in my morning coffee. I'm thinking almond joy, but it's more mmm greasy lips. I really wish I could figure out a way to get the oil to emulsify instead of just floating in creepy blobs on the top of my coffee. Anyway, I think it has definitely helped. I'm not starving throughout the morning.
I still see my body as fat. My last pair of jeans was a size 10 which is a reasonable size! I'm big boned so I'm never, EVER gonna be a size 2. I am lucky that my body weight is pretty evenly distributed. I guess I'm an hourglass. I'm 5'5" and now I'm at 177. In my head that is HUGE! I started at 214 so now I've lost 37 lbs. I see pictures of myself from my parent's 50th anniversary which was 2 1/2 years ago and I am sooo fat, but I still see myself like that in the mirror. I mentioned in another journal wanting to look cute for Christmas parties, and I started looking online at dresses, but everyone I liked I just thought, oh I can't show my flabby arms in that one, or oh my legs are just too fat and I would look terrible. It's so FRUSTRATING!!! I want to be comfortable in my body. I want to look at myself in a dress and think oh I look pretty.
Just at a random chance I was watching a YouTube video on how to set a pumpkin on fire, and the ad they showed before it was by Dove soap on legacies women give to their daughters. My Mom definitely passed hers on to me, and I'm afraid I'm doing it to my daughter. You should Google this ad. It's eye opening. They had the women make a list of everything they didn't and did like about their bodies. Then they had the women's daughters do the same. These little girls were about 7. The lists matched almost perfectly. WHY DOES A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL HATE HER ARM OR HER BUTT??? I need to just start telling myself I look good and maybe I will start believing it.
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80,1 kg
Tot nu toe verloren: 17,0 kg.
Nog te gaan: 16,6 kg.
Dieet gevolgd: Redelijk Goed.
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Gewichtsafname van 2,8 kg per week
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