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It's been awhile since I've updated, and that's just cause I've been a little bit to busy. Ok....here we go.
Grandpa is doing alot better. He's off most of his pain meds, and he does realize that there is a very long road to recovery for him. That's good. Last time that I talked to him he sounded more and more like himself...and that made me close to cry because I really thought that this was it for him.
Our Vue broke down. So...about a year ago the sunroof broke. When it broke, the sunroof was stuck about halfway open. For a year. Half way open..yeah. So, over time the damage has done more and more and now Michael and I need to magically find $852.76 to fix the car. Awesome. We have a plan in place, so that's good...but it still sucks. Luckily we get to borrow CC and Cassie's car for two weeks until we get the Vue fixed. Just upsets me, ya know? We just fricking got the vapor canister fixed, and now this. I know that the car is an 05, and the previous owner didn't take very good care of it (according to Cory) so I expected to have to pay for some upkeep around now. Just not this much!
Abbie and I are fighting. I don't agree with the way that she takes care of her house, or her kids. Her house seriously lookes like it could be on an episode of Hoarders. She's apart of the Renissance Faire here in St. Louis..and that stuff is everywhere. Total lack of orginazation (I have slight OCD in that area) and it just plain stinks in there. If my house EVER smells like that, beat me upside the head. Smells like dirty litter box and sweat and grossness. And her kids get neglected, alot. All the physical needs are met, just not the emotional ones. And, they're my nephews. So, even though I'm not their mother I still care about them. And for Andrew (he's 13) tell me that he doesn't remember the last time Abbie had dinner with him..it just breaks my heart. So, I talked to her about it. Now she's not talking to me. Sucks.
So, my eating has been off a day or two here or there. I'm trying my hardest to get back on track, but I'm having issues right now. Not sure why....That's not true. I know why. I'm sick and tired of it! Sick and tired of not getting to eat the fried food (I don't care what you say..baked fried chicken doesn't taste the same as fried!), tired of not getting the chocolatey dessert, tired of watching everything that goes in my mouth, tired of it all! I'm sick and tired of it! I want to be healthy, I want to look good for Michael, I want to know what it's like to have the guys stare at you cause you're hot. I really do....but it's so hard to do the work, and the scale doesn't move, and the clothes fit the same as they always did, and.....IT SUCKS! I'm sorry to be all poor poor pitiful me, but it's how I feel. I'm gonna keep trying, but I make mistakes. I fuck up...excuse me for breathing. It's not easy. And, while I know that you guys understand that, my real world friends don't. And it's hard to find my virtual friends when I need a good swift kick, or just someone who understands.
EDIT:
Since I'm in such a crappy mood right now, I'm not gonna comment on anyone's journals for a bit...don't wanna spread the negativity anymore than I already did when I wrote this. I will still be reading though.
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1257 kcal
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Vet: 48,11g | Eiwit: 59,62g | Kolhy: 145,67g.
Lunch: Classic Crust Buffalo Style Chicken Pizza. Diner: Baker's Treat Peanut Butter Wafers, String Cheese, cottage cheese, clancy's party mix. Snacks/Andere: Butter or Sugar Cookie, sugar, strawberry. meer...
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3930 kcal
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Activiteit:
Cross Stich - 1 uur, Huishoudelijk Werk - 40 minuten, Rusten - 14 uren en 20 minuten, Slapen - 8 uren. meer...
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