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So I'm back to record everything. I feel like I need the focus right now. Spent my weekend ever so silently freaking out, using food to somehow calm myself (you do what you know, right?). It didn't take long for me to realize that the gym really had been my escape & something I loved doing. That's going to be hard to go w/o. I guess I'll be using my sister tredmill as often as I can force myself to do it.
Didn't weigh myself this morning b/c I'm just not in the mood to see the scale this morning. So tomorrow. It really won't be a surprise. Being that this current weight is a major plateau in my life, I bounce around the same 10lbs. It'll be a miracle when I actually break back into the 230s, and then maybe the weight-loss will be more consistent.
Alright, off to campus for the last formality of my withdrawal. It has nothing to do w/ paper work, just have to talk to one of the many advisors I had. If she wasn't Miss Black California (seriously, no joke), prehaps I wouldn't be so irritated by this. She's done a bang up job of judging me & my life, telling me I just don't try hard enough. If she only knew how hard I keep myself in line w/ her ; p But even if I get rained on riding my bike the 7 miles round trip, at least I know it'll be the last time I ever have to deal with her ; D
**And right after I post this I get a call saying she won't be in at 9 & that I'd need to reschedule. Lol, yeah right. I'll email her. That's about as much courtesy as I have for her. Now I'm up, Sugar Free Red Bull already got me buzzin' after very little sleep. Awesome! Guess I'll just go ride over to my friend's & be her wake up call ; p Need to return some dvds, borrow a couple more & a few books ; )
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90 kcal
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Vet: 6,00g | Eiwit: 7,00g | Kolhy: 1,00g.
Ontbijt: Red Bull Sugar Free, Stringsters Low Moisture Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese. meer...
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 Reacties
There are people in our lives that we often feel judge us, leave us with the feeling that we must meet their standard in order to earn their approval. Sometimes, this is a warranted feeling... they really do hold people up to specific standards and can't see past them to the person inside them to appreciate them for who they are, and cutting these people out of our lives is a healthy step. Sometimes, though, we're painting our own high expectations for ourselves onto them, expecting them to judge us, when they don't. I've had both. Only you can decide for yourself which sort the people in your life are... just remember that sometimes, we project our own harsh judgments of ourselves onto others, seeing rejection from people where there wasn't. And then there's the people who don't mean to be cruel, they really do want to see you do well... but they can only define that by their own parameters, so if you take a different path, they see it as a route to failure. That doesn't mean it is... and in the end, they'll see the truth.
You're going to be OK. Take each day as it comes, work on finding other ways of getting a good workout in (that bike can be your friend!) and don't give up. You can do this! YOU CAN!!!
29 mrt 10 door lid: HuMJah
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I know I can. As for the bike, we'd be friends if I were riding in the countryside away from cars, people & worry. While I'm riding I don't enjoy it at all, which is part of the reason I never use exercise bikes. But I do feel accomplished (and in pain) when I've made it halfway across town & back ; ) Life, kind of like riding a bike right now, it's hard, painful & not exactly what I want to be doing but I just keep pushing.
29 mrt 10 door lid: Evil_Angel_Shay
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Life won't always be so tough. Lean on your friends and hang in there. Just go easy on yourself.
29 mrt 10 door lid: Multiplicity1
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