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This was almost a forum posting but then I thought it seemed more like a journal entry so here it is:
Does anyone have any tricks to motivate a loved one to lose weight? This is sort of a rhetorical question I guess because I think everyone has to get there on their own...but I fear that my husband will never get there on his own and we'll lose him to a heart attack...or he'll develop diabetes (he's already pre-diabetic and possibly diabetic but hasn't had his levels checked in quite a while). I was encouraging him for a while and he said he'd try NS but I knew he was just doing it for me...and I was doing all the work (yes, hard work of opening the boxes and microwaving...plus putting the other foods with it). So I told him to stop if he wanted to stop (since he wasn't really doing it 100% anyway).
I know that a) I would be SUPER ANNOYED if he were the one telling me to lose weight; b) anytime someone I loved did talk to me about losing weight in my life, it had the opposite effect--they might as well have shoved food in my mouth themselves...; and c) I'm doing what I'm doing now because I decided to.
I know he wants to but he doesn't want to enough.
I know I just have to keep doing what's right for me and hope that he'll want to do the same some day.
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1202 kcal
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Vet: 54,50g | Eiwit: 69,12g | Kolhy: 117,61g.
Ontbijt: strawberries, kashi go lean crunch honey almond, greek yogurt, egg. Lunch: Nacho Cheese Chips, mayonnaise, turkey breast. Snacks/Andere: Creamy Salted Peanut Butter, apple. meer...
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 Reacties
It is scary isn't it? What made YOU decide to make the change? What do you think is holding him back? Is it fear of failure or laziness or something else? Sounds like he knows he's overweight. Is he unhealthy? Had a doctor checked his cholesterol and blood pressure and all that? One thing you could do is encourage (badger) him into going to the doctor. It would be good to know how his current health is. This might give you leverage. Then I recommend crying and telling him how much you love him and don't want to lose him early and you want to be able to enjoy doing things with him now that you're getting healthy. :) I'm sort of kidding and sort of not. Do you cook for him now? If so, you might have a captive audience and you could sneakily make meals healthier and healthier gradually. Not sure, but I know I would feel compelled to try to help him "see the light".
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Well, in my opinion, he is going to have to get there in his own time but a check up wouldn't be a bad idea. In my case, it was leading by example. I stopped cooking separate dinners and I stopped ordering Chinese. Once I had lost 25 lbs and there really was a visible difference in my appearance I made a comment that I really couldn't wait for summer and a hot new body :) The next evening, while I was working out, my husband came home with the P90X and asked me if I would teach him how to eat healthier. It was seeing me off my butt and the thought of a thinner, healthier me that made him realize how much he wanted to lose that spare tire! Don't get me wrong, he's not as intense about it as I am but that would be difficult for most people!!! He has lost 14 lbs in the last month though and either walks with me and our dogs after dinner or works out while I'm on the Beast. I guess, in short, it was a little bit of jealousy! So, I agree with telling him to go to the doctor but other than that, try to make subtle changes in the house to GRADUALLY make meals healthier. Keeping healthy snacks in the house helps too. Good luck!!!
01 apr 10 door lid: jenju
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Thanks for commenting, guys. I have definitely done the crying and the telling him how much I love him. I also remind him why it's so important for our kids. It might be time to do it again though. ;) You are both right about the cooking and sneaking in health...I was sort of doing that for a while but would get frustrated when I'd see him also eat some really bad stuff on top of what I was feeding him...so I probably gave up on trying...but I think I need to change my attitude...and keep encouraging health (without nagging) and feed him what I'm eating and if he hates it that much, I guess he'll look elsewhere for food but at least every once in a while he'll get a healthy meal, right? Maybe with time...
01 apr 10 door lid: ChallengeMember
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Yup, don't enable. If he wants to eat poorly, make him do it himself. My bet is his laziness will make him much more likely to eat whatever you serve :) Even if he's going to eat badly at other times, it will still be better if he has the base of healthy stuff. Then try to sneak in exercise. Is there anywhere he would want to go? For a walk maybe? It's so much easier to lose weight for men, really. I bet once he got started he'd like it and keep going.
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give it some time. contuine to cook and eat healthy. It will take some time to fall into your routine.. After my husband made fun of me becasue I measured everything and becoming a member of FS, he lost 10 lbs.... I just cooked with less and less fat and carbs and he ate it... good luck ... also include activities so he has to walk...
02 apr 10 door lid: polarbear1071
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Being able to see your progress in losing weight along w/ being healthier should help him want it for himself. Just continue doing what you are and he should come along. And if he wants to eat poorly, make sure he does it on his own.
02 apr 10 door lid: kmartin
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Thanks everyone for the suggestions and support. I'll keep you updated. :)
03 apr 10 door lid: ChallengeMember
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