Youngest grandson's birthday party was today. He is so cute, of course! Loves tractors. He had been asleep, was a bit cranky until he (with a lot of help) opened his first tractor present. Eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! So much fun!! So much food and cake. No, I didn't! Had some pepperoni, salami and cheese. Skipped the cake. Well, it was white anyway. A victory, nonetheless.
I'm still aggravated with myself. Such a happy day and I had this creepy jibe because I could just feel my last ex staring at me so much and so many times going out of his way to come near me. Not my imagination. The "flight or fight" feeling happens every time I'm in the same vicinity as him. I can almost feel my skin breaking out in a rash. I'm always hiding behind a smile. We do speak and act civil toward each other. Yes, he is supposed to be at every function concerning my two youngest. And no, he hasn't caused me any harm in the last several years. Still creeps me out. Well, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better.
Onward!!
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1118 kcal
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Vet: 97,08g | Eiwit: 54,39g | Kolhy: 15,89g.
Ontbijt: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Trader Joe's Brown Cage Free Eggs (Large), Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds). Lunch: Hormel Original Pepperoni Slices, Dynasty Oolong Tea, Hormel Hard Salami, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Chicken of the Sea Premium Whole Baby Clams. Diner: Mission Avocado, Hormel Hard Salami, Dynasty Oolong Tea. Snacks/Andere: Planters Lightly Salted Mixed Nuts, Walnuts, Twinings Chai Tea. meer...
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4355 kcal
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Activiteit:
TV Kijken - 8 uren, Wandelen (Langzaam) - 3 km/h - 1 uur, Huishoudelijk Werk - 20 minuten, Bureauwerk - 6 uren en 10 minuten, Slapen - 7 uren en 55 minuten, Fitness (Minder Belastende Oefeningen) - 15 minuten, Fitness (Gewichten) (Matig) - 20 minuten. meer...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Reacties
don't let him (or anyone else) he is trying to upset you....white cake huh? good thing it wasn't chocolate lol
11 mrt 18 door lid: janstromberg
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Thanks janstromberg. Yes, good thing no part of that cake was chocolate! I would be doing a whole week of adjustments in my WOE. I think you are right. Ex probably just wants to get a reaction from me.
11 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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I had one bite of cake (my mom's piece) yesterday and it was the worst decision I made... because the rest of the time I was at my nieces birth party, all I could think about was cake and fighting the urge to go grab a piece lol
11 mrt 18 door lid: Vmartens14
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I am getting started on my journey.
11 mrt 18 door lid: I Got This2012
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It was my youngest grandsons birthday yesterday and yes I did have cake, walked a bit more today.
11 mrt 18 door lid: skinnyminny54
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He was probably staring because you look so great. Glad you got through it ok.
11 mrt 18 door lid: teskandar
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An awesome celebration and two fabulous victories; no cake, and super instincts!:)
12 mrt 18 door lid: moondove
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Kattay, grandkids are so awesome. Don't let the ex spoil things for you. I know that is hard to, been there. My way of coping was to convince myself that I wasn't about to allow him to have that much control that would enable him to spoil my time with the family. He is still trying to control you.
12 mrt 18 door lid: wholefoodnut
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Congratulations on enjoying your grandkids. The anxiety with the ex is just life, in one form or another, and it feels good to share thoise types of feelings, even with strangers.
12 mrt 18 door lid: UnclePen
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I'm so sorry you had to be uncomfortable like that..Ive been married twice before and both are great men..we are all friends...I would hate that...I hope you have a great week ..as you stated on your journal onward!...
12 mrt 18 door lid: maxie4
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Hi Vmartens14. Usually, if I have just one piece of anything sweet, like cake, I too would feel like I just have to have more. Best for me to just leave it alone. My other GS, brought me a piece anyway. Pawned it off to my SNL. He's on keto but he ate a bit of it anyway. If I had eaten any of it I would have been inwardly fussing at myself. Next bd might not be so good :)
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Good luck I Got This2012. Hang in there! You can do this!
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Wonderful skinnyminny54! T
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Thanks teskandar! Love your optimistic attitude :)
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Thanks moondove! I have my moments.
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Thanks wholefoodnut! It is very hard for someone to understand if they haven't been there, done that. Even though it is in the past, it is very hard to control every emotion. I like to think I handle it pretty well. And I didn't come home and raid the fridge! Writing it in the journal helped.
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Thank you UnclePen. I love my GC!! I would walk on hot coals for them and for my children. I never regretted my marriages or my divorces because I have a great life with my family. But that doesn't mean I completely forgot everything. And I don't want to repeat the bad stuff. We should learn from past mistakes.
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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Thanks maxie4. Yes, Onward it is!
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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I understand the creep vibe meter and it’s hard not to immediately grab for food so you can put on weight and make yourself unattractive. (Gee, because THAT works when it’s really about a power issue on their part! But who said our brains are logical! 🤷🏻♀️) You did really well enjoying the party anyway and keeping it pleasant! 🙋🏻
12 mrt 18 door lid: smprowett
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Thank you so much smprowett. You are right. Logically speaking, I should not have any response to having to deal with these situations. It was a good celebration.
12 mrt 18 door lid: kattay
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