BekkaL85's Logboek

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26 juli 2011

Not much has been going on lately. I'm just in a blah type mood here lately. Not really feeling like doing much of anything lately. I did do my Zumba last night. And when I got home I felt like I had been through the wringer. I'm usually not THAT tired afterwards...but for the past couple of days or so it's been really hard to get motivated to do much of anything. It'll pass soon though.

I really can't wait for September. We are getting a student refund from Michael's school and will be able to pay off the car. That's an extra 300 a month for us. It's gonna be wonderful to be able too breath for a bit. ...and to catch up on our bills and such. We've been streched to thin lately that the though of breathing room is heaven. So, we've only got to get past August. Just one month. 31 days. Easy peasy....I hope.

If the weather here in the mid west ever gets under 95 degrees I'll be able to go walking again. I liked walking. It was my me time. And it gave me something to do during the day that would get my ass off of the couch!

25 juli 2011

Gewicht: Tot nu toe verloren: Nog te gaan: Dieet gevolgd:
154,2 kg 17,2 kg 73,5 kg Slecht
   Reactie Toevoegen Gewichtsafname van 0,1 kg per week

22 juli 2011

I just ate lunch...all I can say is yummy! I wanted a deli sandwich, but those aren't really that low in calories. If I eat at St. Louis Bread co (Panerna for those of you outside of MO) I blow my food count for the whole day. So I made lunch. Sauteed onions and red peppers with some garlic. Used a half tablespoon of real mayo (my splurge for the day), a 4th cup cheddar cheese, and thinly sliced chicken breast on a flour tortilla that I heated up in the skillet I cooked the onion and pepper in to give it the crunch I wanted. The cheese and the tortilla is what really hiked up my count, but it was delicious..totally worth it. Dinner will be on the skimpy side...but it's worth it!

Tomorrow will be a bit difficult. Michael and I are going to his favorite resturant in the world to celebrate his new job. It's a Tai food resturant called The King and I. I don't really care for Asian cusine and the only thing that I'll really eat is the cashew chicken. I'm not sure at all what the calorie intake is because it's a mom and pop type place that doesn't have nutrional info on their stuff. It's not required here (yet) so they don't have to have it. So I'm not quite sure how to log it all. I know what's in it...just not the spicies and the sauce and the amount of everything. I guess I'll just find a cashew chicken here and log the one that I think is the most accurate.

20 juli 2011

Saw the doctor today. My offical weigh in is 341. Awesome. the pound is due to the clothes. I don't wear any when I weigh myself cause I don't want anything on their but me.

Blood pressure is 129/84. Could have been alot better, but has been alot worse. I had only taken my pills about an hour ago so he wasn't to worried.

Found out that my top registered weight was402. That means in total I've lost about 62 pounds!!! Really exciting. Afterward my mom wanted to take me out to lunch and we went to McAlisters. Was yummy as always...but high in calories as always. Gonna be careful today...I went over about 20 calories yesterday. I don't feel to bad about it considering how much I moved and walked yesterday...but I still went over and by now that isn't acceptable. It's not a good time to fall backwards. I get a free day in August. One a month...and I have no idea when it should be. Not sure if I even really want it. I'll have to think about it.

New goal: To be under 300 by my next bp visit in Jan. Oh it's happening!

19 juli 2011

Today offically marks 17 months of trying to concieve and failing at it. Everyone says not to stress over it, cause that's the worst thing that you can do. These people have also never had this problem. I don't think that unless you go through it you quite understand. It consumes me. At least once a day I think about it. It feels like failure and I hate that feeling. My sisters-in-law are starting to say that it might be Michael because my family really is quite fertile. It would be nice to be able to blame someone else...but we really don't know. It just hurts is all. A constant reminder that something in my life is missing. There's a big gaping hole that is the exact size of a baby in my life. Even my neice Mackenzie asked me when she can have a baby to play with. Cassie really got on her but I said it was ok. She's 3. She doesn't understand what those questions do to me.

Of course...this means that I'm fighting food cravings more than normal. The normal everyday cravings...then the "girly time" cravings...and now some depression cravings. I really want some fast food. Burger King or Jack In The Box or something horrible for you life that. The good thing is we don't get paid until Friday..and there's only $2 in our checking account. Couldn't get it even if I COULD talk Michael into it. I am going to Mayhem fest tonight and I'm hoping that it will distract me from food and mental breakdowns.


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