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Okay we are going to Orlando in Dec for our vacation, And I don't want to look at these pics and wish that I had done something different I want to be at 190 before I go. This means a lot of extra work for me, I get lost at the time thinking, "oh yeah, I really want that Chinese food every sat night, or yea I will take the extra piece of garlic bread". I have to change this I feel like if i miss out on food it is awful but what am I missing out on by eating the foods I want? Clothes, shoes, the skinny jeans, doing every day stuff and feel like I am not being judged for my weight. I bought my first horse 4 months ago and have rode 3 or 4 times because I hate the thought of her having to carry me, so I do not ride. This is not the person I am I have lost the skinny confident girl I was back 4 years ago, I want her back and I know she is in me somewhere, I just have to find her again.
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