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27 juni 2011

Where to begin.

I still have not weighed in. Last night I told my husband not to put the batteries back in the scale. I will weigh myself on friday.

Last night I was horribly dizzy, pretty much from after dinner on. I ate a homemade PB cup for dessert. It was good but didnt help the dizziness. I noticed over that past few weeks a lot of bruising on my body. I even made the joke to my husband that I was gonna take pictures and post them on facebook saying "my husband did this" Lol. I really have no idea where they are from. So that combined with the dizziness I thought maybe I am anemic. The later it got the worse I felt. It was horrible.

I called my gram to chat with her and brought it up about the way I felt. She consulted her big book of whats wrong with you and came back at first with heat exhaustion which I could buy except I was home day yesterday. Then she said diabetes. Well...hmm. Every. Single. Female. in our family has diabetes. I had PCOS when I was in my 20s and probably still have it but it was close to diabetes. I told her it would figure that I would get diabetes. I eat healthy and work out 6 days a week of course I would be the one. She told me to eat an orange. I told her I dont eat after 7pm. It was 1130 at this time. I was getting worse by the minute sounding dazed and barely being able to move I was so dizzy. My chest started hurting too. An orange huh. Well its not the worst thing I could have for a midnight snack. I ate it. You know what though I instantly felt better. Well not instantly but within a few minutes. Hmmmmmm....

I need to get to a doctor.

Yesterday was also my day of rest. I was not to workout all day. It was the hardest thing to do. I wanted to do crunches, thats not really exercise I rationalized. It took everything in me not to crunch. I had to keep telling myself that I needed to thank my body for the work it had done and give it a day of rest. So against all I had in me I did just that.

This morning I woke up and felt ok at first. After my oatmeal and banana I am shaky, head hurts and getting dizzy. My stomach kinda hurts too like nauseated. I wish I knew what was wrong. But I will press on.

Goals this week.

weigh in only on Friday
Be happy with weight on Friday
exercise Monday thru Saturday.
Eat healthy no junk food, no cookies, cake, iced coffee, chocolate bars or any of that.
Set up a doctors appointment
have house ready for company

Be blessed

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25 juni 2011

Well I had a full day already. I went to the gym for 2 hrs. Next I am heading to the store then off to the pool!!

So a couple things. I ate late last night. I dunno why. I really dont. I wasnt really hungry. I think that it was that I started my day worng adn felt like oh well screw it. I had a donut for bfast, crap for lunch, horrible dinner, mocha and then wanted junk. Junk all day = wanting junk all night. I only worked out 30 mins yesterday too so I am glad I did 2 hrs today. I may do a bit more later here at home on the elliptical.

On the positive. I worked out 6 days this week. I only ate crap one day and only ate after 6- one day. I waited for a coffee until my friends daughter was out of the hospital that was my goal too. I did not weigh myself. I am hoping to weigh in on Monday. After last night I really feel like I didnt lose much at all this week. All week though I really felt good about myself up until yesterday.

That should be my indication not to eat crap. I eat crap I crave crap I feel like crap I look like crap. I eat healthy I feel good, I have energy, I feel like I look good. SO maybe I should avoid crap..hmmmm. :)

So this week I have a lot of stressers happening. I wont go into detail but this is the week that I in the past would self sabotage. I would eat late, eat out, eat crap and not work out. Lets change that. Goals will be written down on Monday.

Be blessed

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23 juni 2011

I woke up. Went to the bathroom. Scale still doesnt have batteries. I knew this so I didnt even bother getting on. I had to get dressed because my son's therapy was already knocking at the door. I looked in the mirror and was happy. My stomach is looking flatter. I looked nice in my pants and shirt. I feel good. I have some confidence and I have worked out all week so far. I have not eaten after dinner and dinner has been between 5-6pm. I havent had my iced coffee either.

Last night I took an abs class. It was great. Then body pump and loved it! Today it will be either Zumba or weights and elliptical. I had a goal of 734 mins in the gym the month of June. I had a secondary goal of 1304 mins. I am at 1282. Whoot Whoot!! I still have 7 days til its over. 6 days of working out because I take Sundays off. Can't wait to see how far I will go.

Last night I did what my nutritionist suggested. I thanked my body for the hard work it had put it and said that is enough and I will be happy with the work my body has done. Then I rested. I was considering doing more work yesterday but decided against it. I dont want my body over trained. So 3 more days of working out including today then a day of rest and relaxation at the pool. I cant wait.

Tonight we pick up our new car. Yay!! I am so excited. I will be more excited when it is paid off. Having a car payment is new for us. My ocd is ok. I am trying to be more tolerant. I am trying to be less obsessive. Exercise really helps because of the endorphins. I cant wait until Monday though I really hope for a good loss in weight. I have to prepare myself though if I dont have one that I still look good and feel good and it isnt all about that number. That will be hard.

Be blessed

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22 juni 2011

Last night I took my first ever spin class. Well that was an experience. I made it through alive! Praise the Lord. I went to bed and woke up this morning hurting. Oh OUCHIE! MY butt is killing me. My knee is out. Thats painful. I can barely walk and barely sit. But I am alive!

My husband took the scale and hid it last night. I told him not to Id be ok. When I woke up there was the scale back in my bathroom. I was so excited I hopped on. Then off then on again. WHAT?! It wouldnt work!! Oh to-shay husband of mine! He took the stinkin batteries. I went and looked in the mirror, I felt good. I felt like I looked good. My stomach was down and it felt good. And no seeing the weight is making this good feeling last. Had I hopped on the scale and saw anything I would have been upset I know it.

So I have decided for the rest of the week no more iced mochas. I have my reasons and they involve a 12 yr old gal with cancer. I am going to really miss my coffee but thats ok. I will eat healthy and continue to workout the rest of the week and rest on Sunday. Water slide here I come.

I may have to tweak what I do tonight because of my hurt knee, but I will still workout.

Last night I didnt eat anything after 5pm. I ate dinner and then went to the gym. I drank water all night and after spinning I really had no desire to eat.

I am knocking things off my goal list which is good. The entertainment stand is done. We found a car we like and affordable just have to call back and see if we got it. Not eating after a certain time, drinking water more and more. The bulk of the laundry is done. So far so good.

Goal weight 185 by Monday! As of yesterday that means a 4lb drop. Can I do it? We will see.

Be blessed

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21 juni 2011

Woke up fully intending not to get on the scale. I got up to go to the bathroom and got on the scale. I didnt undress though. So then when it was the same number as last night i thought ok well if I undress maybe. I left the room though. I got on the elliptical and did 30 mins. 355 calories before 10am Whoot Whoot! Tonight I will go to the gym and do 60m of body pump. I am excited.

After breakfast I decided since I worked out I needed a shower and maybe it was my hair that was causing the extra weight? I went to the bathroom, took off my clothes got on the scale same as earlier in the morning with clothes, same as the night before. I showered and shaved. I was going to get on the scale right after I got out of the shower but my hair was wet. I dried my hair and then got on it. Same weight as last night, same as this morning before bfast, same as before the shower. Maybe it was the bottle of water and bowl of oatmeal I had now messing up the scale.

These are my thoughts as of lately. I spent the entire time in the shower obsessing about why I was the weight I was. Last night I had an iced coffee, homemade, but still I had it at 10pm. I need to not do that. You know the real kicker is I felt great when I woke up. I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirrors and thought, my stomach isnt sticking out as much. Then I got on the scale and now I am upset. I was going to have my husband hide the scale but I thought that would be taking the easy way out. Maybe I will have him hide it. Take it away from me until Monday. What will it feel like to not have it here? Will my feelings about myself be worse? Will I go to the gym and get on the scale there? I guess we will have to find out because I am telling him to take it today.

Goals this week.

More water.
Nothing but water after 730pm
Stay within my calories
Workout at gym M-Sat
Pool Sunday.
Finish laundry
Unpack house
Get ready for yard sale
Purchase vehicle.

I did get the entertainment center stained yesterday and about 10 loads of laundry. I also did an hour of kickboxing.

Be blessed

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